Who is risky dating

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If it's ok for me to accept the risk of being on the road during a rainstorm, why isn't it ok for me to accept the risk of going on a date with a stranger? It is STUPID and AWFUL that we are expected to constantly be smart, aware, strong, reactive, proactive, and sober enough to prevent our own assaults. That would be a lot more comfortable for me for our first meeting. – Wow, I think it’s pretty messed up that you’re just default assuming I’m a creepy rapist or something. Sometimes, in my head, we have a conversation about this. That’s what you get for meeting strangers from the internet. …and the social and legal support I would attempt to access to address those consequences are diminished and compromised because of judgement around my decision to meet you despite the risks.

My need for an environment and context in meeting you that feels safer for me is not a reflection on you as a person but is based on my actual, lived experiences of evaluating risk and experiencing unsafe situations, and a constant awareness of a social support structure that will blame me for allowing myself to become the victim of a crime. It is STUPID and AWFUL that if we do anything, ANYTHING, like have a glass of wine, or walk home, or smile at someone, or not smile at someone, that we are somehow in that way shouldering responsibility for someone deliberately, maliciously harming us. It goes like this: That’s a really tone-deaf and unfortunate thing to say. It’s important to remember that society very often places the responsibility for preventing harassment, stalking, assault and abuse on women, femmefolk, and other groups who are likely to experience sexual/intimate violence or assault.

So when you’re ready to come back, you may get your pick of a very big litter.

Risk is an equation that we have to calculate all the time! But if you're not..potential outcomes are bad to severe: Having a creepy guy creep on me without easy options for me to end the date early... We are expected to constantly take actions to reduce the likelihood that we may be harmed by others and reduce the severity of the harm we endure.

And the more independent you are, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex. When a man seems like he’s completely confident and happy with himself, it’s a huge turn on.

When we see that you are single, not because you want to sleep around, but because you truly want someone who’s worth adding to your already amazing life, it makes you ten times hotter.

We all know someone who has been involved in a moderate or serious car accident.

It's absolutely possible that I will be hit by someone who is driving recklessly. Who was that guy in your apartment all Friday evening then?

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