Husband not validating feelings backdating an email

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The article discussed studies conducted by psychologist John Gottman who, for the previous four decades, had studied thousands of couples in an effort to figure out what makes relationships work.Seeking to better understand why some couples have healthy, lasting relationships while others do not, Gottman and his colleagues decorated their lab at the University of Washington to look like a beautiful bed and breakfast.

As I read the article, I realized that what Gottman refers to as “turning toward” another individual is simply another way to describe validation—showing interest in and affirming the worth of another person’s comments, requests, or emotions.There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.Validating feelings involves recognizing someone's feelings and acknowledging them as important. Remember, you don't have to agree with someone's feelings or choices to acknowledge their emotions are valid.In contrast, couples who remained together after the six-year period had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time.Nearly whether couples—rich or poor, gay or straight, young or mature—will be broken up, together and unhappy, or together and happy, several years down the road.

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