Dating a former fatty
One of the most difficult things for a fat dude to hear, especially when dating, is that they have a great personality but no other redeeming physical characteristics. Plenty of fat dudes do yoga and aerobics and jog a mile (I do it by running from zombies! And the first thing people say when we express our frustration with our weight? I don't want to go through exactly what my shopping experience is like, but if you've ever seen that episode of where Ross tries to get back into a pair of leather pants, it's just like that. Lots of stuff contributes to being fat other than a thyroid disorder. I am not allergic to leafy vegetables packed with fiber. " As opposed to now when I look like an actual monster that crawled out from under someone's bed? In fact, so many dudes care about how they look that eating disorders and body dysmorphia are on the rise. I'm not saying that men are as violently shamed for not fitting a certain ideal as women are, but there's definitely pressure for us to look like the dudes on TV and also Channing Tatum.
I appreciate that, especially if it's just a nice compliment that doesn't come with a "but" after. Being a fat dude doesn't mean you're not an active dude. And we often don't get that chance because the awesome rainbow cardigan at H&M is a European extra-large, which is like an American extra-small. "Maybe you have thyroid problems." Could be, but those are rare and I've had my thyroid checked.
"I'm just trying to help." Listen, I'm going to share a harsh truth with you here: People know they're fat. I don't know what this platitude is supposed to do, but I can guarantee it's not having the desired effect. "At least you don't have to worry about shopping for clothes." Guess what: Fat dudes like dressing nice too.
When you remind us how "unhealthy" we are, all you're doing is reducing us to our weight and that doesn't feel good. If I haven't suggested I might like to go for a 10-mile hike, telling me how much I'd enjoy it every time I see you is a mistake (and also makes me thing you want to get me alone so you can murder me in the wilderness). "You're just big-boned, man." The bones in my butt and stomach are particularly large, yes.
Congrats on your weight loss, enjoy the benefits of being attractive!
I can imagine you standing at the door applauding them as they enter the gym and clap in time as they wobble their bottoms on the running machines.
OP maybe they are attracted to you BECAUSE you're you and because of your journey. It makes me cry a little on the inside when I see weight loss pics and perfectly tight abdominal skin.
For instance, as a Jew, I wouldn't be inclined to continue chilling with someone who said, "I like you even though you're Jewish," unless we were living in Nazi Germany and them liking me despite that fact could actually save my life.For those unfamiliar with gyms, this is not acceptable behavior. Let's say the fit guys can tell she used to be fat.That may turn out to be a huge turn on to see the amount of dedication someone has to better themselves.(When I first posted this question I didn't include these, a friend had encouraged me to add them on) I'm honestly super surprised with the amount of feedback and very much appreciate the kind words.I hope some other women will stumble upon this thread and feel a bit better knowing that most guys are super understanding!!